My story started when I was twenty two and I was looking for a girlfriend. Being raised by a woman who was very classy, elegant and feminine, who appreciated beauty and sensuality, I knew that I wanted a girlfriend who also had those qualities because, as they say, men tend to look for women who are more like their mothers. I guess that was true in my case. But my biggest challenge was, I couldn’t find a woman who fit the description that I was looking for. And what I was looking for, in essence, was a woman who appreciated the art of glamour, class, elegance and style. I know it sounds weird because I was only fifteen at the time.
“Someone somewhere is searching for you in every person they meet.” ~Unknown
Most women I was surrounded by seemed fine with being average and ordinary/masculine, and that really bothered me. However, after sometime I found myself settling for the very same women I was mostly concerned about even though something in me kept telling me that I was not in alignment with what my heart truly desired. The choices I made to get into a relationship were mostly driven by a feeling of loneliness which, consequently, led me into a path of melancholy, pain and frustration.
When I was in my late twenties I found myself in a very dark place. I had lost complete sight of who I was as a man and what I wanted in life. I had started a business which failed miserably. Every relationship I got into ended up in huge disappointment, drama and trauma. I was in so much debt that I sold everything I had and it still wasn’t enough to eradicate even 10% of the debt I had incurred. I became homeless for almost two years. I lost friends. I was as skinny as a mosquito, and I am naturally a very lean person. I’m sure most people thought I was sick or something. It was the lowest point of my life.My love and passion for music is the only thing that kept me going and helped me stay positive when everything around me was a mess. Someone once said, “Art is a refuge for the melancholy,” and I totally agree because music was a catharsis for me throughout that depressing period of time in my life.
However, the best part of my journey is that I started becoming a lone wolf, and this helped me to rediscover myself and my true path in life. I evolved into a Sigma Male.
“Sigmas are not born, they are made. They are shaped from years of adversity and physical and mental trial. This accounts for why there are few very young Sigmas. Most Sigmas only come into their own in their late twenties. The strengths, independence, resilience and toughness of Sigmas are only acquired in overcoming hardship and surviving difficult backgrounds. Read more about Sigmas here.”
I started taking full ownership of my life and getting my ish together. The biggest lesson I’ve learned from this crazy journey of my life is that if you do not honour and follow your true desires, you will lead a very miserable life. Moreover, if you settle for less than what you know you deserve, that sets a standard for everything else in your life. In fact, by not settling you honor yourself by staying true to your dreams and preserving the integrity of your purpose.
So, finally, I decided to honour my true desires and go for the life and relationship my heart and soul truly yearned for. However, unsurprisingly, I still kept coming across women who didn’t seem to care at all about being classy, elegant, sophisticated, and in touch with their feminine side. It really bothered me, even today, that a lot of women don’t take pride in their womanhood; perhaps it’s because they’ve never been taught how. Most of them only know – and are fine with – the basic daily women things such as take a shower, apply skin lotion, get dressed and go, that is pretty much it.
By the beginning 2011 I had reached a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I decided that I was going to find a way to help women become queens instead of just humans with female body parts. And so I started writing a book entitled Sensual Lifestyle which was really intended to shedding the light on the value of being a sensual/feminine woman.
My ultimate goal as a women’s sensuality catalyst is to empower women to become more in touch with their feminine side and, in essence, become extraordinary. As I wrote in Sensual Lifestyle that every man inherently wants to idolize his woman; now what this also means is that every woman needs to be at a level that’s worth idolizing. This is the reason why I want to help women develop the lifestyle of Queens and daily habits of Goddesses, because I strongly believe they deserve to be at that level.
I’ve had a lot of time to observe and deeply acquaint myself with many of the challenges that are preventing most women from becoming the goddesses they were born to be. And my mission now is to help those who are willing to assume their full role as Queens to elevate their standard. If that’s you, well, let me say that I’m here to serve you.
Lebo Grand is a women’s sensuality catalyst based in South Africa. He is also a musician, and author of Sensual Lifestyle. His work appeals mostly to women who are inherently feminine and/or want to get more in touch with their sensual side. To learn more about him, click here.